Frustration.

I find myself asking,

WHAT WOULD PATTI DO?

all the time.

I wish I knew.

My TRANSFORMATION

For those of you who don’t know me well, you don’t know me…
But for those of you who do, I hope you have seen some sort of transformation over the past few months, because I sure have. I mean sometimes I catch myself looking in the mirror or doing things and I think, “Who are you?” and as weird as that sounds, I LOVE it!

So in going through Patti’s List of looking ourselves up and down I have taken the following actions- all positive and reinforcing.

HAIR- You can call me Rogue.

I am now a brunette.
I was a redhead for the past year or two (ish) and even before Patti suggested against it, I realized red was doing nothing for me, so, there it went with a box and a night of vomiting in the shower, yeah… terrible experience.
I also have a slight blonde highlight in the front which I like call my superhero edge… it brings out the inner blonde in me… which I now realize why they say blondes have more fun.
And Im letting it grow out as much as I want to cut it off SO- HAIR, check!

LIPS- Pouty and Plump

I have packed my cosmetic pouch in my purse up with 2-3 different colors of lip gloss and I always apply it… it cant hurt.
I wear pinks and nudes because my skin is fair, and my lips are large.

MAKEUP- Still learning…

I like to wear makeup, but Im still learning on how to apply it so I still need to take advice and get my bum to the mall.
I go for the natural look- powder, gloss, bronzer, eyeliner and mascara… and it does do the trick!

BODY- I like to be naked.

I’ve been “training” for a 5K the past 6 weeks and it has done wonders for my body.
I have a flatter stomach, tighter ass and sweet calves.
I challenged myself to “run” and I did it… which was an accomplishment in itself.
And I understand at one point someone will be seeing me naked and I really do not want to disappoint… it’s not in the cards right now. .. So, I want to undress to impress.
And to no surprise, exercise is better than sex with someone who doesn’t love you…
AND Patti is so right ALL the time… because since I’ve been running I’ve lost a few pounds and the lighter I am the sexier I feel …. And now I’m feeling pretty terrible about those sour cream and cheddar chips I just devoured… gross.

CLOTHES

I have retired a lot of my baggy t-shirts and A-Line skirts for tighter shirts and shorter skirts.
I flaunt what I got and that is that.
My mom also makes me skirts that are very flattering that I absolutely love.

SO in doing all these things I had come to the realization that prior to this self-discovery stage I did not like who I was and at the time was not willing to change because was so used to being that person. But with a little effort and a little will I did the most impressive thing I have ever done for myself and that was…I changed and in that change I improved who I was inside and out and I became someone I have always wanted to be… and to be honest, she’s pretty BA.

Mirror on the wall....

STEP II- MIRROR MIRROR

So- We’re moving on fast- Hold on tight DUDES AND DUDETTES!!

Dating Detox has taken a dramatic end and here we are, travelling forward...

Step II is called “Mirror Mirror” and this step can be done during the Detox stage, and continue afterwards as well. Patti uses the stage to ....

“...tell you all the things you need to hear, things that even your mother, or your sister or your best friend doesn’t have the balls to break to you.”

In this stage of finding who we are, and finding who we want to be with we have to take a good look at ourselves and get in our ideal condition. Because according to Patti *And she “hates” to say it*

“But with men, its all about the packaging—one look is all it takes for them to decide if you’re a keeper, or if you should be tossed back…. This may sound crude, but they’re measuring your fuckability factor… No matter how beautiful we are on the inside, if the outside does not reflect it, you’re going to spend the rest of your days alone….”

And that is directly from Patti.

During Dating Detox I have already done numerous things to improve my fuckability factor… and as the messenger, Patti gives tons of ideas on how to spare us humiliation as she claims to be famous, or infamous for her no-nonsense attitude.

In discussing our look head-to-toe… here are some tips we can all use! ... And I shall share my progress later!

HAIR- “If you think you’re going to get away with short hair, you’re not.”

-Men like long, flowing locks.
-Most men see short hair as “hitting the wall” or her young and sexy days are over.
-Perms are out. Wavy hair is fine, but men don’t want to get

“snagged in scraggly, frizzy, pubic-looking bird’s nest.”

“Red hair is not the freshest produce on the aisle” ...

and Patti says that 90% of the men in her club don’t pick redheads over brunettes and blondes.

TEETH- “You’re smile is your calling card—make sure it’s in perfect working order.”

LIPS- “DON’T leave home without lipstick or lip gloss. Always apply it before you set foot outside, even if it’s a quick little swipe.”

-If your lips are large, avoid bright or dark lipstick shades.
-If they’re small, invest in a good lip plumper.

MAKEUP- “Less is more.”

-Bronzer, and lip gloss.

“Most straight men prefer girls with low maintenance looks- even if it takes an
hour to achieve. Your man loves you to look natural...”

-Don’t “cake on bake on” your foundation.
-A little lipstick or gloss, blush and eyeliner and mascara, will do the trick.
-If you do not know how to apply makeup, make an appointment with a makeup artist or visit Sephora and try the many samples—LOVE doing this!
-DO NOT let a gay man tell you how to be a better woman, he’ll never understand exactly what it’s like to be an attractive female looking for a heterosexual male.

SKIN CARE- “The real secret to great-looking makeup is great-looking skin.”

BODY- “There are breast men, leg men, ass men—even foot men, although they tend to be a little kinky.”

-The perfect body is all about attitude; really… if you love your body, you’re probably in the best shape you could possibly be.
-Exercise and nutrition are the best ways to change the way you look and feel.

"The lighter you feel and weigh, the sexier you feel.”

-Exercise not only makes you look better, but you also feel better- as discussed in Step One.
-You have to find what works for you as far as exercising goes.
- Exercise can be better than a sex…okay, at least better than sex with a guy who
doesn’t love you- and much cleaner and less complicated.

2 NEW FRIENDS- Shapewear and Certain Dri. Look ‘em up, they will help you- Patti says.

SHOP ‘TIL YOU POP

This still goes under STEP II, and I apologize for the length, I just like to be consistent.
In this part of Step II, we get to go on a shopping spree- since we got rid of a lot of clothes during Dating Detox, we can fill our closet up with new clothes! In buying our new dating wardrobe we have to follow a few guidelines…
“Look for clothes that make you feel like the sexy diva you are.”
“Show off your assets... men are drawn to women who are comfortable in their own femininity.”
“ Solid, bright colors are guraunteed guy catchers, BUT NOT big
prints that will distract him.”
“ RED & BLUE will draw them in.. black is chic, but its also boring.”
“Steer clear of baggy and blousy.”

**IMOPRTANT** When you are ready to go shopping- don’t go alone, or with your best friend or your mom or sister… GO SHOPPING with a single, straight man.

This sounds rather strange to me, but I love the idea. So, I will give you some time to catch your breath and we will continue momentarily..

I caught a wave.

So yes, I have been out of commission for quite a while and for that my dear readers I am truly sorry... I really have no excuse, and for those of you who know me, things in my life have just been, kind of weird to say the least. I am finding that I go through the motions of so many things, but I actually don't feel them or appreciate them or even enjoy them sometimes. So I find myself doing things just for the Hell of it and well, I'm done, DONE. I've been riding a wave and it's crashed so Im gonna hop on the next one. But let me fill you in on the little wave I've been on... readers digest version of course.

SO.
I met a guy, and he liked me.
We started dating, but... something was missing...
While this has been happening,
I've been transfered at work and my fellow employees hate me and gossip about every mistake I make.
My mom tends to misunderstand me and our current stance as roommates is pretty disppointing.
My friends are always there.
I faced a few fears...
I tanned in the tanning bed & I visited my college town.
My College Best friend is moving right next door to my Ex-BF and my cat.
I have decided I'm worth MUCH MORE than I give myself credit for.
I stopped running because I was too busy making out, but I'm starting again.
I have 4 weeks until my European adventure.
AND,
I've decided I'm not ready for a realtionship...

Thats been my life in a nutshell... AND thus, I find myself being a re-born again practicer of Patti. So here we go... *again*

W.W.P.D.?

I love Patti and I feel like I don't really talk about her enough in my posts... so this post is going to be dedicated to her.

On a daily basis, I get advice from Patti, via twitter.

I love twitter- I might get PracticingPatti a twitter account...
but let me think about that first.

I love twitter because it gives me a way to keep in touch with friends and their random, crazy antics. Even if they are cities away, if they twitter something ridiculous it makes me feel like I experienced that event with them. Patti does two things with her twitter; she does personal promotion, in that she lets her followers know when she will be on a certain radio show or t.v. shows but she also sends out daily advice. For those of you who haven't already bought and read her book, it is advice straight from it. It is sporadic, but meaningful, and such a sweet surprise when I pick up the phone and see her little tweet...

Here are some recent tweets I have received from ours truly *And maybe I'm crazy, but I always hear her voice saying these things*...

• Start frequenting the places where single men gather - put yourself smack dab in the middle of their radar.

• You should always thank a man for the date while you're on it - that's sufficient.

• You must be prompt and not make him wait more than ten minutes for you.

• Remember knowledge is power. It's helpful to know more about him than he does about you...

• Let the endorphins flow by going for ride near the beach on a bicycle built for two.

• Part of acting like a lady involves allowing him to be a gentleman.

• If witty banter is not your forte, at least ask interesting questions.

• Talking about $ is crass by those who have & threatening by those who don’t. If u lead with $ foot = zap romance & go straight to biz mode.

• If you do the initiating in the beginning, you'll set the precedent for life, and you'll do all the initiating in the future...

• NO “EX TALK”. Men don't want to hear about your previous guys. The less you care about your past relationships, the more desirable you are.

• CHASE SPACE. Let the man pursue you. Let him call you. He NEEDS to be the hunter & enjoys it. Don't take that joy away from him.

• COMPASSION = SEXY. Helping others helps you! Most millionaires ♡ the philanthropic life – just ask Brad Pitt. Volunteer at ur fave charity.

• LEAVE SOMETHING BEHIND. Little perfume on pillow, casserole in oven, tidy home, a note. A nice reminder makes him think about you all day.

After reading through these, even today, they all make sense. I love her! I have Patti's tweets come directly to my phone, which is great because she keeps me in check.

I find that I enjoy being accountable to something, or someone, and that is Patti. If I find myself analyzing, or critiquing or just thinking about a guy or a situation, I think, "What would Patti Do (W.W.P.D?)"

And more often than not, I channel Patti, read through my bible and she answers my questions... granted, it might not be the answer I hoped for, but it is probably the right answer.

I have actually taken a handful of her advice in the above tweets... and friends, they work. I look forward to using more of them, but only time will tell. If you need a pick me up, follow Patti on twitter, she'll keep you in check...your head and your heart, and if you ever find yourself at a crossroads, just ask yourself,

"W.W.P.D.?"

http://twitter.com/pattistanger

LOVE Patti.

I Love Grocery Lists.

I LOVE to go to the grocery. I also love to cook and because of this, I want to share a little thought I had...

When I go grocery shopping, I always start in the produce section, and end in the dairy section. And I do this, because I have mild OCD and also because I don't like my milk or ice cream to get warm by the end of my trip.

SO- in saying this, I also create my grocery list in order of the way I shop. Beginning my list with produce/lunch meat and ending with cheese/eggs/milk.
It makes my shopping trip much simpler and a lot more organized.

I know it sounds Obsessive compulsive, but I think it only makes sense this way...

Also, I make a list because if I don't I will go in the grocery and pick things out I don't need, like cookies, or candy. Or sometimes I'll even say,

"Instead of granola bars I want a snickers bar" ...(I LOVE candy, p.s.)

Then I find myself trading items for items that aren't really good for me. So a list is necessary so I don't get off the beaten path (Are you catching on here?)

You may ask,

"Why are you talking about grocery lists?"

Well.. my grocery lists are very similar is thought to my 5-MUST HAVES List. I thought of this comparison because just today someone asked me if I carry my list around with me, and if a gentleman talks to me do I whip it out and go over it, checking off "have" and "doesn't have"

and it made me think that building a potential mate in my 5-MUST-HAVES, is very similar to grocery shopping in that...

1. I go in looking for specifics.
2. When picking off-brands instead of name brands, I have to weigh the options..
   

• Is it still what I'm looking for?
• Even though the outside package isn't like the name brand, is the product just as good?
• Off-brands might save me short-run, but long-run I'm not sure.

1. If I sacrifice an item on my list for another item, there was probably a reason I didn't have it on my list in the first place.
2. I'm very strategic in my list and shopping... call it OCD, I don't care.
3. If I get to the register, and am checking out, sometimes I realize I don't need everything I put in my basket, and sometimes, I realize I forgot a critical item that could possibly make or break a meal.

The more I have thought about it, the more I agree in that creating my MUST-HAVE list is critical in building my mate, just like you need basic elements of a recipe to create a meal, or even the basic elements of a grocery list to make it home successfully.

So to answer the question presented, no, I do not "whip out my list" and go through it, like a grocery list..checking off things that look good, or I want.. it's all mental. It is all stored in this crazy little head of mine and my 5-MUST-HAVES skim through my head every time I speak to a gentleman who I might find interesting... or who might find me interesting... I have memorized the 5- MUST-HAVES and WILL NOT sacrifice no more than 2 of them. I will stand by the things I want and need and that is that.

Because at the end of the day, you can't make broccoli casserole without broccoli... I mean, you could, but it probably wouldn't be as good...and hey, the broccoli part is the healthy part.

A few thoughts...

On a side note, during Dating Detox I have had a few thoughts and what I call "small epiphanies"
They include the following:

1. I'm changing and I like it.
2. I can't change anyone... people wont change unless they want too.
3. I am learning to live in the moment, not in the past... .still working on the future part.
4. I love taking care of myself, mentally, physically and emotionally.
5. I enjoy reflection, but not consumption of past behaviors and treatment.
6. I like to smile.
7. I have learned to listen to people who have my best interest at heart.
8. I will learn from my mistakes.
9. Time is all I have... which is of the essence.
10. I like to fill my days with positive things, people and events..
11. optimism is key, not cynicism.
12. I like finding who I am... by myself.

Dating Detox has been fun and I have about 15 days left... but I already feel different. I remember on a daily basis that this process is for myself, for my own happiness, and my fulfillment. I cannot and will not be happy with someone else, until I find my self-worth and "Happy Place" as Patti dubs it... so, 15 days left... what's left?