Holiday

Hello fellow Practicers. I failed to mention that I will be taking my Holiday until the beginning of July. I am going abroad and have already been here for 6 days. I hope to be up to speed when I return, I'm sorry for the lack of commitment. I hope all of you are enjoying your summer and of course are spending many nights with friends, family and on ocassion by yourself at the local pub making 5 second flirts with the good lookin blokes across the room ;-)

Cheers. Until July. xoxo

"They met ONLINE, can you believe it?"

Do you hear this phrase a lot? I DO. I feel like the idea of meeting people online has become more widespread over the past 10 years than we actually realize. More and more people meet online, connect and as I have noticed, get married. Now I don’t have any statistics, but I can tell you I know about 3-5 couples just off hand who have met online and are now married.

First of all, let’s get one thing straight, there is no shame in meeting people on internet dating sites. Internet dating should be fun and remember,

“If it becomes boring or burdensome, it might not be for you…”

There is one rule of thumb when it comes to online dating and that is: HONESTY. No lying girlfriends… not about your height, weight, hair color or interests. Also, rule number two, just like dating in real life ;-) the guy must make the first move… whoever calls most, has more interest- but when it comes to internet dating, the man must contact you- NO EXCEPTIONS Ms. Thang, no matter how cute he is.

To take internet dating for a spin, Patti has a few fool-proof tips- so I have taken the liberty to give you the abridged version of her 12 page dedication to internet dating.



SO- Here we go…

A few notes on creating a desirable profile:

Picture Perfect
To get a better man, you must have a better photo.
Patti suggests the following-

Glamour shots
The picture must show from the top of your head to the bottom of your thigh… you would want to see the whole package, right?
No trendy clothes, just something flattering and possibly in multiple outfits.
Smile- men find engaging, warm and happy attractive.
NO ALCOHOL in pictures.

Provocative Profile
Honesty is the Best Policy
Be 100%HONEST.

Create a fun, flirty screen name… try to avoid placing ‘licious’ at the end of your name.
State what you have to offer first, and not what your intentions and desires are… use words like playful, energetic, fun, attractive… don’t be humble. DON’T use words like sexy and steamy…unless you’re looking for a quickie…

If you’re looking for a man who has some money to offer, veer away from phrases like,

“I’m looking for a generous man who will…”
and say something more like,
“I’m looking for a guy at the top of his game” or
“I’m doing great at my career and I hope you are too.”

Men do not like shopping with women.
Expand the search geographically by 100 miles of where you live- Love knows no distance.


If you take the above steps in highlighting your profile men will be lining up to add you as a friend and ask you out. You will get most attention in the first week and month of joining, so take advantage of being on the rotation of new, attractive women. To weed out the men of worthy, here are the ones you reject:

The man who gives you his number and asks you to call him for a date that night= QUICKIE
The man who asks for more photos= NARCISSISTIC PERFECTIONIST
The man who doesn’t ask for your number after 2-3 lengthy emails or deep conversations.
The man who has bad photos, who you think you’ll get back too= NOT EVER GOING TO LOOK BETTER.
The man who corrects your grammar and/or edits your profile= CLASSIC CRITICIZER.

Get to know the potential Mr. Rights and Patti says

"if he hasn’t arranged a date after two initial emails, he’s not serious about looking for a wife; he’s looking for an email buddy."

When you do meet someone who wants to take you on a date, remember:

COFFEE= Cheap
DRINKS= Audition
LUNCH= Interview
DINNER= Business

If he’ll spend money on you it indicates that he is serious AND this is crucial to know in any form of dating.

“The guy that wants to get married wants to spend that money on you.”

The man who has marriage on the mind is reading through profiles and just wants to find his match and get off the market.

CAUTIONS about online dating:

Knowing too much about him.
Deceit.
When meeting, go somewhere public and check in with a girlfriend before you go.
DO NOT go to his place after wards.
Watch to not get addicted- don’t spend longer than an hour or less on online dating- and only make it 1/3 OF YOUR SEARCH.

Phew, Patti just goes on and on about online dating… I’m thinking about going and getting an online profile myself after spending all day re-reading her ideas…
is she convincing enough for YOU?

2. Step III- Making your Matchmaking Map!

In creating your Own Matchmaking Map, you have to have options!

When I read this Step, I was slightly overwhelmed and a little nervous about the great ways Patti suggests to meet eligible singles. I was also excited! Patti always makes things sound super fun and easy… that’s probably a matter of perspective,

but I trust Patti wholly and completely and I just know she would never steer me wrong!

In saying this, Patti gives us three ways in that we can potentially find Mr. Right and those three endeavors include the following:

Online
Personal Contacts
Out and About

I'm not going to spend too much time talking about each of these, but I do want to hit some of the hot topics that Patti discusses within along with some tactics I have personally used.

You do have a pen, right?

Are you....

Leaving bitter feelings behind…

Learning from past mistakes…

Finding happiness within…

Feeling good from the inside will reflect the outside and in that are you taking care of yourselves emotionally and physically…

Ready to Love again?

I know I am, and I hope you are too… and If so, we're moving full force ahead to STEP III and that is creating your Own Matchmaking Map. Before we do that I have a few things to share...

This happens to be a very important step, so get that
purse size notebook out and a pen and get ready…

Finding the perfect man is somewhat similar to finding your perfect house- and this analogy will come in handy a bit later for sure, but for now- the three most important factors in finding your perfect match are a lot like the three important factors in finding your dream house: LOCATION, LOCATION, and LOCATION! Like knowing where you want to live and where would be best for you, in finding the man of our dreams, we have to know where to find him.

Patti shares a few statistics, and since I’m not a huge fan of numbers, I’m only going to skim them over for you… (All of these stats are based on the singles population only)

There are about 6% more single women than men.

There are approximately 25.4 million single guys in the U.S.

between the ages of 25-40.

The cities with at least 40,000 more single women than single men are:

New York/northern New Jersey, Memphis, Atlanta, Philadelphia and Washington D.C.

The New York/northern New Jersey area has about

185,000 more single women than single men.

Patti does not hesitate to tell us that if Love is not working for us where we are currently living that relocating is not a terrible idea. As desperate as it may sound she says that if you were made to transfer for your job, you would do it, so why not transfer somewhere to find true love… which is more satisfying than any job any of us will ever have.

It defniitely puts Finding Mr. Right in perspective... and I find myself wondering...

What is LOVE WORTH?

1. A LiTTle Secret about Dating Detox

I’m really good at keeping secrets, but sometimes secrets have to be told to help other people… i.e. YOU, my readers. So, in saying this, there are two things I have yet to tell you about my Dating Detox experience. Now, don’t get too excited or nervous, I have yet to do anything to compromise my fellowship to Patti, but I did almost fall victim to one of Patti’s notes about Dating Detox and that is,

“Do not settle for the first guy you meet out of Dating Detox…”

Of course, there is always an exception, but Patti looks at dating like trying on shoes for a wedding…

You can’t settle for the pair that’s a little too small, and rubs your ankle wrong, or the pair that’s just a shade too light but you don’t think anyone will notice because the weddings at night or the pair that has a real big flower on it but the shoe itself is the perfect color…

At the end of the night, the shoe that might have been discounted was probably marked down for a reason and even if it was a thrifty purchase, the color was wrong, and the flower was awful and the small shoe rubbed a blister the size of Texas on the back of your foot… and it hurt.

We all have done this, whether it was a shoe, or a guy…

and ultimately the shoe or the guy didn’t work out because it wasn’t exactly what we needed and we suffered through the night because we didn’t have the patience or the time to find exactly what were looking for

… And we more than likely paid the price.

In saying this, you might have seen an absence in entries there for a bit in April and I'm sorry. I feel extremely accountable to you all, and I felt terrible I was leaving you out of my life... but I was slightly embarrassed... And that was because I was consumed by a gentleman whom I reconnected with after several months of detoxing and we began dating. I should have followed my gut,

AKA Patti sitting on my shoulder telling me that this was not the best idea, that just because he was the first “marriage minded” guy that I have met, does NOT mean I have to just throw in the towel

… I should have known better… I should have come to you all…

Well we started dating exclusively and it was great... I suppose… he met my family, I met his, we hung out with his friends, he cooked me dinner, I cooked him dinner… it was a great courtship… but there was something missing……..

I started freaking out. LIKE FREAKING OUT. I was like,

“I can’t do this, I can’t be a girlfriend, and I can’t love or be loved….”

It was super scary… but then I realized…. It wasn’t him, or me… it just wasn’t the perfect fit… and that’s OK.

We ended badly, because I led him on and I feel terrible about that. Ultimately it was better to end it sooner than later… because I found out that my foot can not fit into a size 9 shoe and that is that… and in realizing that I feel like it was a small victory, but in battle someone has to get hurt… it just wasn’t me this time.

Coming soon...

1. A LiTTle Secret about Dating Detox
2. Step III- Making your Matchmaking Map!
3. Dating 1o1
4. How it happened

I thought I would let you know that I am planning on updating you all, my readers, on my everystep... good or bad, sad or happy in my dating Adventures.

If you have questions, ask.

If you have comments, share.

GREEN LIGHT

THE DATE WENT... like this...

We grabbed Sushi at a local Japanese grill.
We talked about ....

Everything... (BUT the off-limit topics for a first date, according to Patti).

He encompasses the following of my top 5 MUST-HAVES:

1. Tall


2. Good sense of fhumor


3. Family Man


4. Has a steady job

He made me smile... and laugh. I enjoyed that.
We took a walk after dinner.
He held my hand. That was great.

He kissed me goodnight.

...GREAT.

IMPORTANT::::: I used Patti's "Pay it Forward" technique. I will share more later.