1. A LiTTle Secret about Dating Detox

I’m really good at keeping secrets, but sometimes secrets have to be told to help other people… i.e. YOU, my readers. So, in saying this, there are two things I have yet to tell you about my Dating Detox experience. Now, don’t get too excited or nervous, I have yet to do anything to compromise my fellowship to Patti, but I did almost fall victim to one of Patti’s notes about Dating Detox and that is,

“Do not settle for the first guy you meet out of Dating Detox…”

Of course, there is always an exception, but Patti looks at dating like trying on shoes for a wedding…

You can’t settle for the pair that’s a little too small, and rubs your ankle wrong, or the pair that’s just a shade too light but you don’t think anyone will notice because the weddings at night or the pair that has a real big flower on it but the shoe itself is the perfect color…

At the end of the night, the shoe that might have been discounted was probably marked down for a reason and even if it was a thrifty purchase, the color was wrong, and the flower was awful and the small shoe rubbed a blister the size of Texas on the back of your foot… and it hurt.

We all have done this, whether it was a shoe, or a guy…

and ultimately the shoe or the guy didn’t work out because it wasn’t exactly what we needed and we suffered through the night because we didn’t have the patience or the time to find exactly what were looking for

… And we more than likely paid the price.

In saying this, you might have seen an absence in entries there for a bit in April and I'm sorry. I feel extremely accountable to you all, and I felt terrible I was leaving you out of my life... but I was slightly embarrassed... And that was because I was consumed by a gentleman whom I reconnected with after several months of detoxing and we began dating. I should have followed my gut,

AKA Patti sitting on my shoulder telling me that this was not the best idea, that just because he was the first “marriage minded” guy that I have met, does NOT mean I have to just throw in the towel

… I should have known better… I should have come to you all…

Well we started dating exclusively and it was great... I suppose… he met my family, I met his, we hung out with his friends, he cooked me dinner, I cooked him dinner… it was a great courtship… but there was something missing……..

I started freaking out. LIKE FREAKING OUT. I was like,

“I can’t do this, I can’t be a girlfriend, and I can’t love or be loved….”

It was super scary… but then I realized…. It wasn’t him, or me… it just wasn’t the perfect fit… and that’s OK.

We ended badly, because I led him on and I feel terrible about that. Ultimately it was better to end it sooner than later… because I found out that my foot can not fit into a size 9 shoe and that is that… and in realizing that I feel like it was a small victory, but in battle someone has to get hurt… it just wasn’t me this time.