Something I've been wanting to touch on for a while now...

Christmas lights are already up and canned pumpkin is out at the grocery store, holiday season is knocking at the door. I think a lot of us find ourselves wanting to be with someone... someone to hold our hand, or offer us their jacket... I had a cold winter last year, and not primarily because of the weather...
In the past the Holiday season has been my favorite time of the year when I've dated someone, and it will be in the future as well. I don't have a big family, so I LOVE the awkward family dinners, and multiple Thanksgiving celebrations, the questions from the family, the endless looks of "is she right for him?" As miserable as this sounds to most, its fun to me.

But, at the moment I don't have someone to trek around town with on Thanksgiving... I don't have a family (outside my own) to bake a pumpkin pie for or supply a bottle of wine for, and that's OK. Although I am human and I do miss it, I have realized over the past year that... right now,

I would much rather be alone than be lonely in a relationship.

In saying this, I don't think being lonely in a relationship is always the case, but in only having negative feelings about my past relationship it makes me so grateful for the choices I've made and the steps I've taken to make it this far, by myself.

It's not easy to be alone, but it beats being lonely with someone...

I would much rather depend on myself for happiness than someone who was-

embarrassed by me,
never called me,
never wrote me a love letter,
never brought me around their family (unless I begged) which may classify under being embarrassed of me,
lied to me,
possibly cheated on me,
made me feel worse than better about myself,
let me walk away AND never came back... which is tough, because I do like the idea of that person coming back, but at the end of the day, I know its just the idea of them that turns me on... not them.

But in this moment I can honestly say,

I may be alone, but I sure as hell am not lonely.

I don't want to dwell on the past, but I will say,

things usually work out, or don't, for reasons that I've come not to question,
but to embrace it with open arms.

Why would I question something that has given me new life?

I was talking to my sister the other day... and mind you, these types of talks usually don't happen, but she had said something along the lines of how she thinks I have done better without a boyfriend than she thought I would... she was proud of me and included the fact that I was a lot more fun than I have ever been. That means more than anyone will ever know.

I HAVE come a long way since my relationship with Edmund-and I'm so proud of myself.

I find that I used to be a "WHY" person, and now I'm a "WHY NOT" kind of gal...

I venture out my comfort zone more often than not, I meet new people and reconnect with old acquaintances, I've changed my hair color with the seasons, and I have come to know bartenders and bouncers at local bars and in doing that I have drank more vodka cranberries than one should be allowed (only on the weekends ;)

Ultimately it comes down to the fact that in being alone, which for the moment I am choosing and am totally content with, I have had the grand opportunity to focus on me. No one else. Of course, someday I will be with someone again, I have no doubt, but in taking this time I have found so many things out about myself that it has been nothing short of awesome.

I may be alone, but AGAIN, I am not lonely...
I have more friends a girl could ask for, a family that's kind of bitchy, but loves me unconditionally, a rewarding job, and a life that any girl would dream of....
I smile and laugh everyday because guess what friends,
I'm happy, with myself,
and that is priceless.

This kind of goes along with my dating detox experience a few months ago, but as Patti states,

You have to be happy with yourself before you can even pretend to be happy with someone else...

In saying all this, all of you deserve to be happy in life, by yourself, and a man would just be a cherry on top of the sundae that is already scrumpdillyumptious.

It will taste much better that way, promise.

Happy Belated Thanksgiving xoxo