I want to talk about "THE LIST"

I want to talk about this "LIST" a little more.....

I gave it some thought and, of course its always a little easier in hindsight, but man I put up with a lot of same bull shit from 3 different guys. How does that happen? How do I go from one relationship that didn't work, probably because of the not-so-good traits on his end *And my end* to another relationship where the guy reflects the same damn traits? Am I stupid? Yes.

I have thought about this in depth, and I had been doing it all wrong, and Patti even gives me a way to prevent relationships like this from happening... but I wasn't dating "my type." I thought I was, because hey, they were half way good looking, sweet to me, a couple of them had 'edge' and well, they made me happy ahem...oxytocin... But none of them had what Patti says are the "FIVE TRAITS you will not sacrifice for" and these are five things you look for in a guy that you will not sacrifice and should not sacrifice (this part comes a little later in the book, but what the heck, we'll skip around.)

She says for me to write 5 "must haves" on a little notecard, laminate it and place it in my purse or wallet. In doing this, it will prevent me from falling for a guy based off their cuteness, sweetness or edginess (is that a word?)... point being, I will be reminded of WHAT I NEED AND WANT and no one can take that away from me... INCLUDING MYSELF.

So if I had to make a list of 5 MUST-HAVES ... which is slightly broad, and he will probably only meet 3/5... it would be the following::::

1. Family man

2. Educated

3. Motivated to succeed

4. Good personality

5. Tall? ..I'm 5'10 so I would like a taller guy.

SO- do you see the contradiction? All of my 5 MUST HAVES kind of fall under the 5 DONT HAVES of the past BF's... so not cool. I don't understand.. I really thought I knew what I was doing in dating those fellows, but really, I was cheating myself and that is so not cool or fair to me.

Part of my detoxing is taking care of myself, and this is something I WANT to stress to YOU. Take care of yourself friend. Don't settle for less. Make a list- of the five things you want and need and go get them. If you are just a little like me, you DESERVE the best.... you deserve what you want and need and that is that. I know it sounds sugary and sweet, but more than likely there is a guy out there for each of us who can give us 3/5 things we need you just have TO BELIEVE IT. Not gonna lie, it's hard to believe, like I've explained to you before I have hard time holding on to HOPE, but let me ask you this,

Would you rather have the feeling of not getting what you want or need or have the feeling of Hope..the feeling that your future is up to YOU you just have to embrace it...

I once had that feeling of not getting what I wanted or needed... multiple times, and it sucks. So no more! I will not put up with laziness, hostility towards my family, hostility toward his family, lack of motivation to succeed, or pessimism... NO MORE. And I'm talking to you too....

You should not put up with things just because you think that good guys don't exist, because they do, you should not be sitting home on date night by yourself if you have a boyfriend because he should be taking you out and if he's not, shame on him, and DO NOT, ABSOLUTELY DO NOT give up on YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS, because in doing that you lose who you ARE and you have to take care of yourself.... you have to LOVE YOURSELF for anyone to love you.


-Dedicated to my friends.