Ok, a little bit about me... but not alot...

Some of you may know me, and some of you may not... and that's OK- actually I hope you don't know me, it will make this much more fun that way.

So the basis of what led me here starts three years ago. I was a sophomore in college, just livin' the life. I was going to school, partying it up, just doing things that I wanted. In this process I met a guy, fell in love and I mean, when I say fell in love, I fell in love. It was a fun little love story, kind of reminiscent to Taylor Swifts song "You Belong with Me." It was so awesome. I will tell you that after several very long phone conversations we went on a real date, and it was a mega two-event date. That afternoon, the sun was shining, we were outside, exploring a historical place then, he reached for my hand, looked me in my eyes and just then... I was in LOVE. Love.

LLLLLONG story short, we dated seriously for two years. We lived together, adopted a cat, he graduated... I still had a year and that's when it fell apart. The last year we dated "unofficially" which was not a good idea. Things went downhill fast. We were just drifting apart. We wanted different things in life... and maybe they didn't include "us?" I moved out, then after I graduated I moved home. Yeah, he didn't follow me or even try to make it work long distance... neither did I. While I was busy at home trying to finish school, he was pretty busy back at school with his neighbor...who happened to be 5 years younger than him, blonde, a bit hip looking and totally interested in him. Well, that didn't sit well with me. We stopped talking, for a long time. I tired to forget the hurt I felt and tried to get over him by doing stupid things to "duct tape" my pain... but it didn't help.


While that didn't work, I felt myself wanting him back, and it was quite depressing. I soon found out in the time we stopped talking, all the nights I was thinking about him, he had started officially going out with the girl who happens to be my younger sisters age *20* A friend of his told me how happy he was. That's great. What was my response supposed to be? I wanted to sit there and tell his friend that I felt the worst I had felt since my dad died when I was younger. My heart hurt everyday for him and while my heart was hurting I just imagined him fucking his new girlfriend, smoking some pot, listening to The Beatles records *I bought him* and playing with my damn cat *MY CAT*. Yeah, that was my life... and she had it.

This son sums it up... and since I can't figure out to embed a stupid video... you must click on it... I know, too much energy- my apologies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2axbXDjYqA


I had two choices. I went with the first one for a while. I sulked in my own self-pity, cried myself to sleep and just beat myself up over things I couldn't control...that got old real fast. I wanted to feel loved and love back... Needless to say I had just graduated, couldn't find a job and was sitting at home for days watching Wife Swap day after day... after day...

CHOICE #2- GET OVER IT. My mom wondered why I wasn't over "it" yet... and I wondered it too, but really, I wasn't. I didn't know how to get over it, but I knew I couldn't do it alone. My friends helped me, they listened and it was great, but their advice was one-sided, my mom was just wondering why I wasn't over him and then there was me. I was my biggest challenge... I couldn't get over the past. I was thinking about all the good times and all the love we had and it was so terrible on my heart... So, I sought out a therapist. I have been in therapy throughout some hardships in my life and fully believe in the power of psychoanalysis. On top of that, I bought Patti's book. ANNND guess what, I got a full-time job- so NO MORE wallowing. No more. I get up, go to work *40 hours a week* and try to think of anything BUT him... what shall we call him... EDMUND? Ok. And did you know it is super hard to NOT think of something... yyeah....



SO. That is my Love story in a very small nutshell. If you want more details, ask?... Therapy has helped and so has Patti. I am not going to lie, I still hurt inside everyday, but it is getting better. Everyone tells me I'm going to be OK and well, I have to believe them. I WILL FIND A MAN THAT DESERVES ME WHO TREATS ME THE WAY I WANT TO BE TREATED and to do this I have done several things to help me... with the help of PATTI. God love her and her fantastic advice...